An article for consideration, to the editors of Tea Chemistry Monthly
This tea starts off like a naked mole rat, in that you can’t be sure it’s seen the light of day or had any fresh air for its entire life. Also, they are both notable for their impressive longevity compared to their peers. I am not aware, however, of any studies regarding the incidence of cancer in the leaves of this tea.
After some initial steeps that bring the funk like a 70s throwback concert, the tea settles down and provide cup after cup of thick, tasty brew. Others (Proust et. al.) have remarked that it is somewhat drying, and leads to a desire to consume more tea, which I also experienced.
I did not, however, experience the same level of tea-drunkenness professed by OolongOwl in her seminal work on this matter. Due to inconsistencies in experiencing this phenomenon, I cannot consider this an experimental failure of my own making, though that possibility must be considered.
Owing to a shortage of supply from the one outlet which has heretofore provided all known researchers with the substance, further testing may prove difficult to come by. I do recommend, however, should you find a new outlet by which to experience the peculiar effects of this compound, you avail yourself of it toot-sweet.
Contact the author for a full list of supporting documentation and endnotes, should they be required.