4

So, I went to the supermarket at 1AM to buy some water and a few groceries. And some teas. To review. Someone save me.

On to the review. Wait, not yet. Lemme critique the tea’s description instead, K? Just one line of it, really:
Oolong tea is often called the “champaigne of teas”.

Point A: You mean “Champagne”? Or “champaign”? Because the world you put doesn’t exist. So let’s assume it’s the former, seeing as “champaign” refers to “level, open country”.
Point B: “CHAMPAGNE” of teas? You mean Darjeeling teas?

Okay, that aside. The tea sucks. It has a flat, two-dimensional taste, and it just leaves an unsatisfactory taste in my mouth. The leaves, though not broken, look a bit ravaged. You can also tell by the way they look dry how… bad it will taste.
I think I bought this tea to hate it. And, in that sense, I was not disappointed. Also the leaves aren’t that fragrant.

Okay, I’m not done criticizing not just this tea, but the company. The site makes me sick. dragonpearltea.com
The worst part is the customer comments section.
Hey guys, who am I?
“This is the bombest tea ever!”
I’m Jordan. No last name provided.
These customers obviously have no knowledge of what good tea really is, and have probably only tasted bag teas.

So, I’m done being a jerk with this tea. Onto my next tea. It’s gonna be worse.
By the way, anyone want the left overs? I know for a fact that I’m never going to brew this again. You can even have the tin. According to the label, there should be 29-39 servings left ;)

takgoti

Thanks, but I’ll be sticking to actual champaigne.

Little annoys me more than spelling and grammar errors on packaging or other promotional material. I mean, COME ON, guys. Really?! [Unless there’s a clear language barrier thing going on and then it becomes amusing.]

JMKauftheil

Very true on the language barrier. While I was in China, I purchased a canned matcha milk tea. The description bragged that it was “really a decent drink!”

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takgoti

Thanks, but I’ll be sticking to actual champaigne.

Little annoys me more than spelling and grammar errors on packaging or other promotional material. I mean, COME ON, guys. Really?! [Unless there’s a clear language barrier thing going on and then it becomes amusing.]

JMKauftheil

Very true on the language barrier. While I was in China, I purchased a canned matcha milk tea. The description bragged that it was “really a decent drink!”

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Poet, Prosaist, Teaist, amateur literary critic, uhhh…. Sadomasochist?

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