Sipdown (208)!
I needed an easy to make tea and a little energy after a super stressful and exhausting day.
I just got home from filling out my two pain med. prescriptions for my teeth and in the process had about an hour long conversation (long distance, I might add) with my Dad about all the things that the dentist thinks needs to be done, how expensive it’s going to be, how it’s all my fault for not taking care of my teeth (I’m still holding out that while my eating habits have not been the best, most of this is his fault by not fulfilling parental responsibilities and booking me in for regular check ups over the last three years), how I should have stood up to my dentist today and just told him to pull the tooth on the spot…
Basically, for a good solid hour I was emotionally berated and interrogated over the phone.
Not ten minutes later after hanging up, I got a call from a very pissed off dentist who apparently had the same experience with my father. I guess my Dad questioned his competence as a health professional and just in general was a total ass to him. Basically, my dentist wanted to call and say he was very close to dropping me as a client but would continue to work with me if I was the one and only person he was interacting with.
And I guess my Dad withdrew all of his credit and health insurance information – so now I’m not even sure how to go about paying for things since I’m unemployed and, when I am employed, likely will not be making a lot of money in the first place.
I just feel so overwhelmed and I don’t know where to start or how to deal with things. I agree with my Dad that everything the dentist wants done is an awful lot and I don’t think all of it is necessary, or at the very least not an immediate priority. However I also agree with my dentist that just pulling out every tooth that hurts a little isn’t a smart or necessarily viable option either…
I’m just in a lot of pain, and I feel really stressed out, overwhelmed, and emotionally abused right now. How do I find a compromise between what they want that fixes the pain, and isn’t going to bank rob me because I can’t afford all this on my own…
Right now I’m just going to cocoon myself in a whole bunch of blankets, have a small emotional breakdown, cry it out, and sip at some really great tea.
And, I’m so sorry I’m venting all this out on Steepster, but I don’t really have anyone else to vent to about it.
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Sorry it went so poorly. :-( Maybe you could talk to the dentist about whether there is one thing among the various things that are recommended that you could do that would give you some relief now, and table the rest until the financial situation is better? Or maybe you could get a second opinion? I am not sure how things work where you are, but here pricing can vary widely from dentist to dentist, as can opinions about how to approach the same problem.
I’m so sorry . I have dental problems myself so I feel your pain. You have to do what you have to do. I’m sure your parents love you and don’t want to see you suffer
The dental office might have options for you on alternative funding for things that need to be done. Also when you get a job, you will most likely have some medical insurance so that might be an option as well. Keep positive, it will all work out :)
<3 Best of luck. Is there a dental school anywhere near you? Here there’s the UBC dental school and it is a much cheaper option if you’re OK with students working on you.
Sigh, Steepster. Is there a dental school nearby that might be an option for you? Also “hearts”.
I would say take care of your mental state tonight. What you have planned sounds like a good route to take. Try to stay calm and not think about it tonight because it doesn’t sound like you need to. Decisions don’t need to be made immediately. Relax and put it on the back burner. Things will look better tomorrow when everything has settled some. I’m sorry you had to go through that but everything will turn out ok. Promise. :)
Ros, as OMG suggested, there is a dental school at the univ. I am not sure if it is free or if there is a discounted cost but it might be something worth looking into at least.
I second the dental school suggestion! It’s much cheaper, and it’s supervised so you’re still on good hands.
I had dental fees. :( always so happy if I can get a job that offers coverage.
Hugs!
Deleted my country specific advice — the general version – check with your insurance directly and find out if your dad really has the power to interfere in your treatment after your an adult. Good luck, hugs, and good tea too you.
(((hugs)))
I’m sending e-hugs your way if you want them. Just take care of yourself; I’m sure something will work out for you.
Please feel free to vent here all you want—this is an exceptional community of people. Also, I third (fourth) the suggestion about medical students, and also asking your dentest to help you prioritize what needs to be done. Please know that you won’t feel this overwhelmed after you’ve cried, eaten, drank, and slept (and washing your hair always seems to lighten your mood some, too, I find). You don’t need to make any decisions right now—just be kind to yourself, and know you have a plan of action of sorts. huge huge hugs
Looks like I am not the only person who found the dental school route for you. It sucks that this has happened and I definitely can relate to the parental mood swings and pulling funds. It will work out soon enough. Just take it easy for now and hopefully things will improve soon.
I had a lot of dental work done at the dental school when I was around your age – it is an excellent option in this sort of situation, although there may be a wait to get in. Perhaps, as others have also mentioned, the dentist you have now could do the immediately needed work to relieve the pain, and you could get on the list to see a dental student.
Hugs!
Sorry it went so poorly. :-( Maybe you could talk to the dentist about whether there is one thing among the various things that are recommended that you could do that would give you some relief now, and table the rest until the financial situation is better? Or maybe you could get a second opinion? I am not sure how things work where you are, but here pricing can vary widely from dentist to dentist, as can opinions about how to approach the same problem.
I’m so sorry . I have dental problems myself so I feel your pain. You have to do what you have to do. I’m sure your parents love you and don’t want to see you suffer
The dental office might have options for you on alternative funding for things that need to be done. Also when you get a job, you will most likely have some medical insurance so that might be an option as well. Keep positive, it will all work out :)
<3 Best of luck. Is there a dental school anywhere near you? Here there’s the UBC dental school and it is a much cheaper option if you’re OK with students working on you.
Sigh, Steepster. Is there a dental school nearby that might be an option for you? Also “hearts”.
I would say take care of your mental state tonight. What you have planned sounds like a good route to take. Try to stay calm and not think about it tonight because it doesn’t sound like you need to. Decisions don’t need to be made immediately. Relax and put it on the back burner. Things will look better tomorrow when everything has settled some. I’m sorry you had to go through that but everything will turn out ok. Promise. :)
Ros, as OMG suggested, there is a dental school at the univ. I am not sure if it is free or if there is a discounted cost but it might be something worth looking into at least.
I second the dental school suggestion! It’s much cheaper, and it’s supervised so you’re still on good hands.
I had dental fees. :( always so happy if I can get a job that offers coverage.
Hugs!
Deleted my country specific advice — the general version – check with your insurance directly and find out if your dad really has the power to interfere in your treatment after your an adult. Good luck, hugs, and good tea too you.
(((hugs)))
I’m sending e-hugs your way if you want them. Just take care of yourself; I’m sure something will work out for you.
Please feel free to vent here all you want—this is an exceptional community of people. Also, I third (fourth) the suggestion about medical students, and also asking your dentest to help you prioritize what needs to be done. Please know that you won’t feel this overwhelmed after you’ve cried, eaten, drank, and slept (and washing your hair always seems to lighten your mood some, too, I find). You don’t need to make any decisions right now—just be kind to yourself, and know you have a plan of action of sorts. huge huge hugs
Looks like I am not the only person who found the dental school route for you. It sucks that this has happened and I definitely can relate to the parental mood swings and pulling funds. It will work out soon enough. Just take it easy for now and hopefully things will improve soon.
I had a lot of dental work done at the dental school when I was around your age – it is an excellent option in this sort of situation, although there may be a wait to get in. Perhaps, as others have also mentioned, the dentist you have now could do the immediately needed work to relieve the pain, and you could get on the list to see a dental student.
Hugs!